Orecchiette with Smoked Ricotta and Salami

I know, I know.  It's been a long, long, loooong time.  And I've so missed being here.  Sure, I could tell stories about how my life has been this or that...but that's boring.  So I won't.  My lovely online blogging friend, Carina at We Are All in the Gutter, said, "I hope you're simply busy living."  Indeed, I have been! XO

So let's get back to it, shall we?  You all may remember my French post - I received the most comments on it and many of you sent personal notes expressing support and divulging your own challenges with maintaining a healthy lifestyle (and being bien dans votre peau).  Well, I am SO THERE AGAIN (though not neeearly to the extent as before).  I've had many life changes recently - most important of which is going back to work full-time - and I just slipped a bit.  But I'm back and feeling so much better already after two weeks of Frenchification.

With that in mind, one thing I've been trying to do more of is eating at home.  Adam, Isabell*, and I got into a rather awful habit of eating out often - about 3 times a week.  No more!  I need to be back in the kitchen for my emotional well-being and my health!  I've been trotting out some favorites (such as the Robiola Wrapped in Mortadella), but I also winged it a couple nights ago (what's the past tense of "to wing it"?  I wung it?) and made this:

Orecchiette with Smoked Ricotta and Salami.

I don't have exact measurements; everything below is an approximation.  That's probably bad food blogging on my part, but how boring to measure everything exactly, right?  This is precisely the sort of recipe that lends itself to experimenting, tasting, and exploring.  Here is the list of ingredients:

• 8 oz. orecchiette pasta (you could substitute cavatappi, bowties, or even macaroni)
• 4 oz. smoked ricotta (we used Salvatore Bklyn's version available from Fresh Direct, but you can substitute regular ricotta, if you can't find smoked)
• 1/4 lb. thinly sliced salami (I particularly love Rosette de Lyon, but use any kind you like...spicy could be awesome if you're using regular ricotta)
• 1/2 pint cherry tomatoes, halved
• 6 basil leaves, thinly sliced
• Zest of 1/2 lemon
• Olive oil (high quality for drizzling)
• Olive oil (for sautéing)
• Kosher salt
• Freshly ground pepper

1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil.  Add pasta and cook until al dente.

2. Meanwhile, heat small sauté pan over med-high heat and add olive oil.  Add tomatoes and cook until blistered and spitting.  Remove from heat.

3. Drain pasta into large bowl.  Add ricotta, salami, lemon zest, salt, and pepper; toss pasta.  Top with tomatoes, basil, and excellent quality olive oil.  

Serves 4.

I loved this dish.  It was light but satisfying, and it lends itself to improvisation (see spicy salami note above...it'd also be wonderful with thyme); the ricotta makes a creamy sauce all on its own, and the charred tomatoes help ward off the winter blues.  This also reheated well the next day for lunch.

Well, it's wonderful to be back and you should start seeing more of me!  Happy New Year, all!

Eat, drink, and start anew!



* Isabell was 6 years old when I started this blog, and now she's nearly 13.  It just seems silly to keep calling her Kiddo.  

Brown Butter Pasta

This is a quick fly-by to tell you that Saveur's Brown Butter Pasta is INSANE.  In the Best Way Possible.

And for those of following all my FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT posts (here, here, and here, among others), I have this lovely quote from Debra Ollivier's awesome Franco-inspiration book, ENTRE NOUS: A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO FINDING HER INNER FRENCH GIRL:

There is a phrase, bien dans sa peau, which means "to feel good in one's skin."  It is a state of mind to which the French aspire, a state of ease and contentment that they hope is reflected in their faces.  No worry wrinkles, no cheeks flushed with stress.  Being bien dans sa peau is a state of simple physical and emotional grace.  You live well.  You do not have a guilty conscience for personal pleasures.  You feel good about yourself on a very essential level, and so others feel good around you. The French girl who is bien dans sa peau is balanced.  Relaxed.  Natural.  At ease in body and soul.  A perfect description of the French girl at her best.

And in conjunction, I paraphrase from Mireille Guiliano when I say that we must be the masters of our pleasure as well as our restraint.

I tell you what...I took ENORMOUS pleasure in that Brown Butter Pasta you see up there...and it took ENORMOUS restraint to not eat until I popped.  One of the best pasta meals I've had in awhile...maybe ever?

And, for the record, Côtes du Rhône pairs gorgeously with this dish...

Eat, drink, and live well.



NOTE: Okay, this is where I feel I must editorialize.  Being bien dans votre peau (feeling good in your skin) is not about weight.  Or weight politics.  Or unrealistic body expectations.  We're on a whole different level, one where we talk about personal well-being and your inner core.  Don't feel bien dans votre peau?  Then CHANGE IT.  Seek out that contentment, that joie de vivre.  I support you and I have to say thanks again to those family members, friends, and readers who have been so supportive of me - you are all amazing, fabulous, and kick-ass.

NOTE ON KID-FRIENDLINESS: I omitted the egg for Bug; otherwise, she gobbled this up.

Ham and Cheese Waffles

Happy Monday, all - how was your weekend?  Those of you who are following along with me, reading FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT, how did you fare?  I had a lovely weekend with many, maaany indulgences; my Friday night was positively Bacchanalian.  But that's one thing I love, among many, about Mireille Guiliano's philosophy: have fun now and compensate later.  I fared a bit better on Saturday, and Sunday I got right back on track with much more realistic portions of both food and drink.  This morning it's back to walking and light meals.  And I already feel a difference.  I do. I may not actually be lighter but I certainly feel it.  The biggest contributing factor to that, I think, is that I'm no longer eating until I'm full...I'm eating until I'm satisfied...which are two totally different things.  Even Adam said to me, "I forgot how great it feels not to be stuffed!"  Adam and I are thoroughly enjoying rediscovering flavors and textures, and Bug said that my walks along the river sound nice and she'd like to join me.  I feel like our household has come back online.

I'm fully engrossed in Chapter 6 of FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT where Mireille Guiliano is discussing the importance of seasonality.  Those of you who have tasted a summer tomato from the farmers' market and compared it to the flimsy things available from other countries in the winter will know what I'm talking about.  Eating foods in season is a key secret for the French woman (though, is it really a secret?) Here is a passage from FWDGF:

In the end, seasonality is the key to the French woman's psychological pleasure in food - the natural pleasure of anticipation, change, the poignant joy we take in something we know we shall soon lose and cannot take for granted.

Man, I love that.  Just...love.  I never embraced seasonality before "going French" and, once I did, it was a whole new world.  Now, am I major stickler for it?  No.  I have been known to buy a pint or two of cherry tomatoes to get me through the winter.  But asparagus or strawberries?  I never (seriously, never) buy them out of season because I feel like they are just that much better in season than out.  I'm very lucky in that I have the Union Square farmers' market a short walk from my apartment so I get a lot of my produce there.  But Fresh Direct (a grocery delivery service in NYC) also has a ton of seasonal, local options.  And I know other cities and towns around the U.S. are the same - when we lived in Olympia, WA, there was a gorgeous market, and my parents living in Folsom, CA also have great access to local, seasonal produce.  Seek out your local markets if you can.

So, speaking of seasons, this is the time of year when the California girl in me is freaking out: my friends and family on the West Coast are already enjoying asparagus and the like...and the Northeast is still in hard-core root vegetable weather.  I'm So Over Winter Produce.  It's this time of year that I question my decision to live in this region (don't worry; I get over it).  So I end up making things like Ham and Cheese Waffles:

These have the perfect interplay between salty and sweet and, with a little crunchiness on the outside, these waffles are intensely satisfying.  I served a little spinach salad on the side, and it was a lovely breakfast-as-dinner meal. (SEASONALITY NOTE: I get my spinach from Satur Farms through Fresh Direct.  Satur Farms is based in Long Island but they do grow in Florida during the winter months)

HAM AND CHEESE WAFFLES
Recipe from Bon Appétit (March 2012 issue)
Makes 12 waffles

1 3/4 cups flour
1 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon kosher salt
3 large egg whites
3 large egg yolks
1 cup (2 sticks) melted butter
1 cup buttermilk
3/4 cup soda water (I used seltzer, which worked fine)
1 cup thin strips of ham
1 cup sharp white cheddar, grated
Non-stick vegetable oil spray

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees.  Heat waffle iron until very hot.
2. Whisk flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl.  Set aside.
3. Using an electric mixer, beat egg whites in a medium bowl until medium-soft peaks form.
4. Whisk egg yolks, butter, buttermilk, and soda water in a medium bowl; gradually whisk into dry ingredients.  Gently fold in egg whites (don't overstir!).
5. Coat waffle iron with non-stick spray.  Pour small amount of batter onto iron (amount of batter needed will vary according to machine).  Scatter about 1 tbsp. ham and 1 tbsp. cheese over each waffle.  Add a small amount of batter to cover.  Cook until golden brown and cooked through.  Transfer to a baking sheet; keep waffles warm in oven between batches.  Serve with butter and warm maple syrup (I also liked jam on mine).

NOTE ON KID-FRIENDLINESS: It's waffles.  Always a hit.  I made one waffle with no ham or cheese for Bug.  But she finished it and wanted more...so she just ate a ham-and-cheese waffle and loved it.  She ate more leftovers the next day.  Instead of a spinach salad on the side, Bug got apple slices.

A NOTE ON FRENCHNESS: Yep, this is how we eat while we're embracing a French lifestyle and even losing weight.  The key is portion control.  Pre-2005...and even two weeks ago...I would have eaten two full squares, maybe more.  Not this time.  I had one square and stopped: was I satisfied?  I decided to have half of another one.  Delicious.  Then I stopped.  Eating only 25% less may not seem like much but it is little choices like this that add up over time.

WINE NOTES: Yep, I've got wine notes for waffles.  Treat it like brunch and go for bubbles: Prosecco, Cava, or Champagne.  I'm a particular fan of the Llopart Rosé Brut Reserve Cava 2008, which I get from Fresh Direct - the pink hue has such a celebratory feel to it.

Eat, drink, and embrace seasonality.

Portion Control

First, I want to state that I did not get through the Leek Soup recalibration: I had a small lunch yesterday.  I just couldn't do it.  I had a leek for breakfast, lots of water...and I felt punch-drunk and off-balance all morning.  Then I got a headache.  Then I couldn't stay hydrated enough.  I got to lunch and thought, "This is craziness.  I feel like I'm on Valium."  For the record, I took Valium when I had a root canal and hated it immensely (both the Valium and the root canal).  So I ate lunch.  No worries.  Clearly, it wasn't for me.  I do still feel like it got me jump-started so that's a good thing.  So for those of you who are trying the recalibration: please listen to  your body and eat if you need to!

So some French words of wisdom for today, quoted from FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT:

Eat only at the table, only sitting down.  Never eat out of cartons.  Use real plates and decent napkins, if you have them, to emphasize the seriousness of the activity.  Eat slowly, chew properly [...] Do not watch television or read the paper.  Think only about what you are eating, smelling, and savoring every bite.  Practice putting down your utensils between every few bites, describing to yourself the flavors and textures in your mouth. (Don't let anyone mock you for acting like a French woman - you will laugh last!)

This is an important passage because it really does redefine the way you eat each meal, at least it did for me.  And I especially appreciate the reminder about people mocking you - I felt ridiculous when I first started eating this way but, ultimately, it became part of my eating ritual (which I'm trying now to reclaim).  You'll feel silly at first but, when you eat better, feel better, and look better, it'll be easy to eat with a knowing smile on your face (yes, I totally had the Mona Lisa in mind when I wrote that...).

So, portion control.  In Mireille Guiliano's follow-up to FWDGF, FRENCH WOMEN FOR ALL SEASONS, she shares the 50% Rule.  I'm paraphrasing but the idea is that you mentally cut your plate in half.  Eat half your meal, mindfully, savoring.  Then stop.  Utensils down.  Evaluate your satisfaction level.  Are you satisfied with what you ate?  Are you finished?  Or are you genuinely still hungry?  If so, then have half of the half that's left.  Then evaluate.  And so on.

One example of exercising portion control is my dinner just last night.  Adam and I had "adult dinner": Lemon-Herb Steak with Warm Potato Salad.  See?  Don't you love being French?  Does that sound like a diet?  Anyway!  I plated our dinner but, before taking it to the table, I asked Adam, "Do we really need all this food on our plates?"  We both looked and Adam said, "I think you can definitely pull enough off to have a nice lunch tomorrow."  He was absolutely right.  So I took a bit off each of our plates, and guess who gets to  have steak and potatoes for lunch?  This gal!  And we ended up eating a little bit less than we might have otherwise!  The key is to really engage your mind in everything you're consuming, especially at the beginning.  Eventually, it'll become intuitive and routine.

Another example is my breakfast this morning:

Apple slices, Idiazabal cheese slices, and whole wheat toast with about a 1/2 teaspoon of butter.  This is about half of what I have been consuming lately.  I normally have a whole apple - this was a half.  I have the same number of cheese slices but I cut them much thinner than usual today.  And I normally put a full teaspoon of butter on my toast.  But I felt no less satisfied this morning.  In fact, I felt downright virtuous and content.

The other idea that Mireille Guiliano talks about is tricking yourself.  I tricked myself with the cheese slices.  Because I had the same number of slices, I didn't feel like I cut down at all - they were just thinner.  The butter?  Didn't miss the other half because my mind was still telling me, "Mmm...butter!"  I also cut my toast in two - it made me feel like I was having more than I was...and it also helped me remember the 50% Rule - I only ate 3/4ths of my toast!

Additionally, my weakness - my "offenders" - is anything salty and crunchy.  I fooled myself with this meal.  The apples and toast were crunchy, and the cheese and butter were slightly salty.  I got to satisfy my jones without downing half a bag of pretzels.  And I got so much more genuine pleasure out of this.

Lastly, Mireille Guiliano, in Chapter 4, talks about her colleague who has nothing but OJ, sugar-laden coffee, and two biscotti for breakfast: pure sugar!  Eventually, this woman starts eating breakfasts similar to mine today.  About this, Guiliano says: "[...] she was seeing breakfast now not as a sugar-charged jump start, but as a ritual of self-pampering; it put her in a sunnier mood to face the day."  I love that.  Couldn't we all use a little more pampering?  And why shouldn't we turn our breakfast into a lovely ritual of being kind and gentle to our minds and bodies?

Eat, drink, and pamper yourself!

Zipper Test

It's official: this Leek Soup thing is no walk in the park.  I actually felt a bit woozy yesterday afternoon so I took a few bites of the Nutella panini that Bug was eating (stopping at Bar Veloce may not have been my smartest move ever...).  I know some of you are going to do the Leek Soup recalibration as well, and I urge you to make sure you're eating more than leeks, if you need to.  Have a few nuts, or a piece of excellent-quality cheese, or...in my case...some Nutella.  Just make sure to choose your "cheat" carefully and enjoy it!

I read a bit more in FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT yesterday, and I have the perfect passage to share with you.  It's from the beginning of Chapter 3 and it really sums up the essence of what we're doing here:

While diets are often inspired by fear and self-loathing, such emotions do not show the way toward living like a French woman.  To embrace recasting, you have to be ready to embrace pleasure and individual happiness as your goals.  Sounds paradoxical?  At least half our bad eating and drinking habits are careless; they grow out of inattention to our true needs and delights.  We don't notice what we are consuming, we are not alert to flavors - we are not really enjoying our indulgences, and therefore we think nothing of them and overdo it.

When I first read this, I highlighted it and underlined it; it really hit home.  When you're eating, ask yourself if you're really enjoying what's going in your mouth...the flavors, the texture...and, if it's not delicious, why would you keep eating it?  Be mindful and conscious...and indulge smartly.  It's also about self-confidence: you're amazing so why would you settle for second-best?  You're awesome so why would you settle for a low-fat, chemical-laden block of "cheese" rather than something like a tart, crumbly, delicious Bucheron?  Don't settle for anything but the best quality you can afford!

I also had a chat via Facebook with a friend who is feeling the same way I am.  And she said that, in the past, when she has felt less than her best, she cuts out bread, pasta, and/or red wine for a time - that really helps her get back on track.  Which is awesome.  Again, know your strengths, know your body.  That said, I can't go that route - bread and wine, preferably on a daily basis, are things that I love, that I'm passionate about, that make me content and pleased.  So on that note, I like this passage:

Deprivation is the mother of failure.  Any program that your mind interprets as punishment is one your mind is bound to rebel against.  Whether your pleasure is a glass of wine with dinner or a croissant for breakfast, you simply cannot deprive yourself for extended periods of time and not expect your body to take revenge.

Mireille Guiliano goes on to advocate a day of rest, a Sabbath, when you can enjoy those things you love in moderation.  But her rules (good ones) are "no junk, good quality, and respectfully savored."  

So this is the last of my perhaps overly confessional blog posts, at least for awhile: today, I'm talking about the Zipper Test...photos and all.  First, I want to share a pre-French photo of myself (yes, I realize I just had a baby in this picture...but this is very representative of my look since about 14 years old):

And here's post-French - this was the weight I truly felt bien dans ma peau:

Now, I picked my pair of pants and shirt that I'm going to use to help me gauge my success.  Some of you are fans of the scale: if you feel like that's the best way for you, then go for it.  But I hate the scale and, personally, I feel like it can be so misleading.  Another way to gauge your success is using a measuring tape.  Again, I'm not a huge fan of that, but that's something else you may want to use.

So here is the shirt:

It's hard to tell from the photo, of course, but the buttons pull so tight around my stomach that you can see glimpses of skin.  And here are the pants:

They can't be buttoned.  Which breaks my heart - I loooove these pants.  Particularly when they used to be my "baggy" pants.

So here we go!

Those of you following along with me, how is your reading going?  Are you automatically thinking, "She's full of crap - this won't work for me!"  Are you enjoying it?  Are you trying the food diary?  What quotes do you love?  Would love to hear your thoughts!

Eat, drink, and study for the Test! 8-)

Leek Soup

You guys, I am so pumped.  Your notes have been so encouraging, inspiring, and motivating.  And after two days of increased mindfulness and new motivation, I feel better already, both physically and emotionally.  And my favorite part is that some of you have told me that you even bought FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT and you're reading along with me!  YES!  You guys are the best!

I read the first three chapters yesterday and was reminded why I love this book so much.  The key is to read it with an open mind, and you need to be ready to really make some changes.  That's where I was at in 2005 when I first encountered it, and that's where I'm at today: open-armed and ready to have my world rocked again.

I loved page 10 (in the hardcover edition) where Mireille Guiliano says:

[...] the goal is to develop what works for you as you cultivate a new intuition.  I'm not presenting prescriptions so much as templates.  Tailor them according to your preferences, paying attention to your own body, schedule, environment, and other unique characteristics.  In fact, my emphasis is on the simplicity, flexibility, and rewards of doing it yourself.

On that same page, she says about Phase Two of her "lifestyle program":

It won't be a dietary boot camp, merely a chance for your body to recalibrate.  There is discipline, but flexibility is vitally important, especially at this key motivational stage: the value of avoiding routine both in meals and in activities, emphasizing quality over quantity.

The bolded words are my own - I wanted to draw out particular points that I find super important.

So today I'm making the Leek Soup that she outlines at the end of Chapter 2 (and at the beginning of Chapter 3).  It's sort of a detox/cleanse.  As I mentioned yesterday, I didn't do this part when I first "went French" in 2005 - I didn't like leeks, or hardly any vegetables, at the time.  But now I love them so I'm going for it.  You can feel free to omit this part of Guiliano's "lifestyle program".  You'll also know from your reading that Guiliano recommends keeping a food diary, but I didn't do that back in 2005 and I'm definitely not going to do it now - it feels way too much like homework to me.  Again, do what works for you!

LEEK SOUP
Recipe from FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT by Mireille Guiliano

2 pounds leeks (about 6 leeks)

1. Cut off the ends of the leeks, both the roots and the dark green parts, leaving the white parts plus a suggestion of pale green.  Clean the leeks and rinse well to get rid of sand and soil.

2. Put the leeks in a large pot and cover with water.  Bring to a boil, reduce the heat, and simmer uncovered 20 minutes.  Pour off the liquid and reserve.  Place the leeks in a bowl.

Then Guiliano instructs:

The juice is to be drunk (reheated or at room temperature to taste) every 2 to 3 hours, 1 cup at a time. 

For meals, or whenever hungry, have some of the leeks themselves, 1/2 cup at a time.  Drizzle with a few drops of extra-virgin olive oil and lemon juice.  Season sparingly with salt and pepper.  Sprinkle with chopped parsley if you wish. 

This will be your nourishment for [two] days, until Sunday [or in my case, Wednesday] dinner, when you can have a small piece of meat or fish (4 to 6 ounces) with a bit of butter or olive oil, and a piece of fruit. 

Presentation is everything!

Again, I'm adapting this to me.  Because, guess what...I'm so eating dinner tonight!  It just doesn't fit my lifestyle to sit at the table with a single leek and some broth...while Adam and Bug eat some awesome dinner that I made for them.  Not gonna happen for me.

But I do plan on cutting my normal portion size in half.  If I'm still hungry after that, I'll have a few bites of leek or drink some broth.

I should also note that, should the leek soup thing be too extreme for you, Guiliano also gives a recipe for something called Mimosa Soup.  It's much more substantive with hard-boiled eggs, carrots, cauliflower, and other assorted goodies.  You can give that a try instead.  It's only for two days, and this is truly the only extreme part of "going French".

I'm off to read some more FWDGF and drink lots of water and tea...hopefully that will distract me from the fact that all I had for breakfast were two boiled leeks!

The total of my breakfasts and lunches for the next two days!

Eat, drink, and learn to love leeks, my fellow Frenchies.

My French Plan

You know, something Camilla said in the comment section of yesterday's post got me thinking about something I want to address before moving forward: this isn't entirely about weight loss (nor is FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT).  It's not about my loss of perspective, and it's not about my self-criticism.  I mean, I certainly have both from time to time, but this is not a case of either.  It's about putting on your favorite pair of pants and they won't button.  It's about me eating food I don't even like because I'm eating for other reasons than hunger.  It's about eating unconsciously, without thinking, without sitting down...and, thus, eating more than I might normally.  It's about food becoming a chore...something to struggle with...rather than a source of pleasure, joy, and happiness.  And because all this has happened, weight gain has been a by-product.  But it's not the focus.  My hope is that I'm going to recalibrate my body and my life and, if weight loss results, then that's fabulous.  But what if it doesn't?  Well, then it doesn't.  It wouldn't surprise me - I'm getting older, after all.  My focus is on pleasure, happiness with myself, health, eating mindfully, and feeling in control of my own actions and body.  Truly, that's THE focus.

I share this because it's a good reminder about why I'm re-centering myself and it also serves as a reminder of my ultimate goal.

Okay, so let's get on with my plan.  First, I want to point out that this is my plan.  My plan may not work for you.  It's fluid, it's not black-and-white, and it will change a lot.  That's really the point of FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT: everyone is individual and you need to do some soul-searching about what works for you.  So with that in mind, here's where I'm starting:

1. Re-read FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT from cover to cover.  I've tried to do this a couple of times this last year, and I never got more than a chapter or two in.  This time, I'm reading the whole thing.  I won't stop until I'm done.  I'm starting as soon as I finish this post.
2. Do the Leek Soup "cleanse" from FWDGF (more on this later).  I actually didn't do this part of it the first time I "went French" in 2005 because, at the time, I didn't love leeks like I love them now.  I'm on board this time.  And I think it'll be a great way to jump-start this process.
3. Stop eating anywhere but sitting down.  I won't eat at the kitchen counter or in front of the TV or, god forbid, while walking down the street.  If I can't sit down and enjoy it, then I'll wait until the moment I can.  Likewise, I won't read or check my phone while eating.  When I'm eating, that is the one and only task I'll be focused on.  This helps me stay conscious of what is going in my mouth and increases my enjoyment of the great meal I made.
4. The saying goes that if you're not hungry enough to eat an apple then you're not truly hungry.  I'll use this as my guide to whether or not I eat...and, if I decide I am hungry, then a piece of fruit will work perfectly.
5. My plan is to stick to 3 meals a day.  No snacks.  Now, if I'm hungry, I will eat a snack; deprivation is not part of this plan.  But I will make smart decisions about when I eat and what I eat.  And while we're at it, I'm also getting rid of processed, junky foods.  I had started eating them again, and that's no good at all.  
6. I will pick one pair of pants and one shirt that do not currently fit me, and they will act as my "Zipper Test" (more on that later too).  I won't weigh myself because it's too unreliable (water weight, muscle gain, etc.), not to mention that it's not as fun nor as sexy.  Instead, the pants and shirt will be the method I use to gauge my success.  I will no doubt love the moment when they, hopefully, slip right on and button up with no trouble.  That is sexy and fun. 
7. I will limit my intake of wine to two glasses a day, to be spent how I like: one at lunch, one at dinner...one with dinner, and the other post-dinner...
8. Get inspired.  I've already told you about my major Pinterest addiction.  Well, I went ahead and started a French Inspiration board - I'll be posting there regularly.  Also, as I'm re-reading FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT, I'll post quotes from the book here, as well as on Twitter and Facebook.  This will keep me accountable for re-reading it all, and hopefully it'll inspire some of you too.  Likewise, I have all kinds of other Frenchy books - I'll pull quotes from there too.
9. Move my butt a little each day.  The weather was pretty miserable on Friday so I didn't want to do much walking outside...so I walked up the 7 flights of stairs to my apartment instead (which, coincidentally, doesn't take any more time than the elevator in our building)...I was out of breath, of course, but I didn't sweat at all.  This morning, rather than walking straight home from taking Bug to school, I walked to the East River.  I added a few laps around a track and then walked home.  I added about 2 miles to my usual walk, hardly broke a sweat, and was greeted with this view:

I'm starting there and we'll see how it goes.  Again, it's not like I've set these as hard-and-fast rules with no room for interpretation or leeway.  The idea is that if you're too tyrannical with yourself, you will have a very difficult time being successful (and you certainly won't enjoy as many pleasures).  What if I have friends over for dinner?  Well, chances are very good I'll drink 3 glasses of wine and eat more than I might normally.  Rather than berate myself or feel as if I've failed, I'll compensate elsewhere.  The next day I won't have any wine, or I'll have a slightly smaller breakfast and lunch...you get the idea.  

Stay tuned!  I'll tell you all about the Leek Soup, the Zipper Test, being French when you have a family to cook for, inspiring music, and more...  And don't worry - I'll still be posting my usual recipes and photos as well!

Eat, drink, and get moving!

My Story

My blog is a confessional today.

I have fallen off the wagon, in a way.  I've been struggling to get back on for about a year and, as I've struggled, I've become more and more unhappy with myself.  But I'm fairly good about seeing a bad situation and, rather than staying in it, I find a way out instead.  I brainstormed this morning, and I realized that my blog could help me.  So I start today in turning things around, and I start here so that I can hold myself accountable, document my new journey, and glean some inspiration.  Today, I'm going to start with sharing my story.

I've alluded to it a couple of times on the blog before, but I'll really get into it today.  I've always struggled with my weight.  My 8th grade graduation was awful: the dress I bought a couple months before suddenly didn't fit; I couldn't button it up and my mom had to do a quickie pin job.  And it went from there.  I felt fattest of all my friends in high school...I binge-ate...I tried bulimia (but failed)...  College wasn't much better: vegetables hardly ever passed my lips, and I had a weakness for Velveeta and Snackwell's cookies.  The Soul Twin and I used to share an entire tub of fat-free chocolate frosting in front of the TV, criticizing "those bitches" who had better metabolism than us, justifying the frosting binge since it was "fat-free".  I admit this with shame, of course, but I don't know that I would change a thing; it was cumulated moments like that that helped me get where I am now.  Anyway...

My pregnancy at 25 didn't help.  I loved Arby's.  I loved mozzarella sticks at Red Robin's.  I gained 60 pounds and, by the time I gave birth, I was 200 pounds.  At 5'5", that's not a small amount.  And the struggle went on...

For 17 years, I was a size 10 at my best...a size 14/16 at my most heavy.  Some of you reading this may scoff at that and say something like, "I wish I could be a 10...or even a 14."  And that's your personal struggle.  For me, though, at that weight, I don't feel good.  I don't feel healthy.  I don't feel sexy.  I don't feel like I'm at my best.  And that's a problem.

Anyway, my "bottom" was the year I turned 30.  It was a big, important, tumultuous year in my life, and I was really open to anything and everything.  That's when I read FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT by Mireille Guiliano.  Again, scoff all you like, but that book changed my life.  The very idea that I could eat full-fat, full-flavor food and lose weight at the same time?  Revolutionary for me.  I always sensed that I was doing it wrong, and what Mireille Guiliano was selling me seemed just right.

I threw myself into it - hook, line, and sinker - and I quickly (in about 3-4 months) went from a size 12 to a size 6.  Without going to the gym.  And without hardly stepping on the scale.  And I was eating the best food of my life.  This was in 2005.  Ultimately, two years later, I was a size 4 (sometimes a size 2).  And I never felt like I was skimping.  As Mireille Guiliano says, I felt "bien dans ma peau" (which means to be comfortable in your own skin, to be happy with who you are) and all was well.

What I love(d) about FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GET FAT is that it promotes cooking and eating as a pleasurable experience, which probably doesn't seem all that revolutionary to most of you but it certainly was to me at the time.  And as someone who has loathed and hated working out at the gym, the book also gave me permission to not go, pointing out that it is possible to eat pleasurably and sensibly and still lose weight, without the gym.  Instead, I got to walk everywhere.  I sought out the stairs (have you tried to find stairs in a suburban mall?  It's damn-near impossible). I never left my grocery cart in the parking lot; I always walked it back to the store - I also parked in the furthest spot in every lot.  FWDGF teaches you that every little bit of movement you do, every little bite or sip that you shave off of your meal counts.  It's about subtlety and grace; nothing is ever extreme.  All of this appealed to me, and it made me feel like I could be my Best Self.

But forward to today, and I'm off the French wagon. I've reached another "bottom".  At least two-thirds of my closet is undeniably unwearable, thanks to my weight gain (I think I'm up 2 sizes or so...I still don't weigh myself). My proportion sizes are out of control.  I drink too much. I hate pictures of myself.  I don't feel sexy or pretty.  I'm grumpy and short-tempered.  I just don't feel bien dans ma peau.  My French-ness has gotten away from me.

So that ends today.  Here and now.  And this blog is going to help me.  Tomorrow I'm going to share my plan.  Now that my story is out, I'm going to make my move to change it.  It's not over yet.

Eat, drink, and feel bien dans votre peau.


ADDED NOTE: I should also add that Adam has gone on this journey with me.  When I was 30, he was 32.  At 6'5" he was 210 pounds, which was too heavy for him, as evidenced by his near-constant knee/hip/back pain that markedly decreased when he got down to 185 pounds, post-Frenchness.  He has also fallen off the French wagon, as couples tend to do together, and we're recommitting together.  Here we go!

Porridge (comme les francais)

Like most people, I have been struggling to...um...zip up my pants post-holidays. I indulged heavily this year - and it was heavenly - but lately I've realized I need to recommit myself to eating consciously, with my head.

So I am re-reading French Women Don't Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure by Mireille Guiliano. To say that I am a devotee of this book is a vast understatement. In conversations with the Soul Twin, we just refer to it as "The Book", as in "I overindulged last weekend but I'm reading The Book again and getting back on track." What I appreciate about The Book is that it's not a diet book; it's a lifestyle book (no derisive snorting, please). I read it for the first time five years ago, and the timing was so right: I connected with its message to eat (and live) with your five senses in tact, to not settle for bland, flavorless food (or life) that gives you very little return for the effort. It's really not the point but, for those of you concerned with numbers, The Book inspired me to drop 20 pounds and keep it off for 5 years.

But moving on, I'm re-reading French Women. Yesterday morning, I adapted Guiliano's recipe: "Grandma Louise's Oatmeal with Grated Apple." I didn't have any lemons so I just left that out (the recipe only requires a 1/2 tsp so I didn't miss it much). And I didn't have oatmeal so I used steel-cut oats, making it according to the instructions on the can. It was so satisfying and such a powerhouse way to start my day. How can you not conquer the world after eating this?

And thanks to the apple's natural sweetness and sugar, there really is no need for added sugar.

Steel-Cut Oats with Grated Apple

(adapted from Mireille Guiliano's recipe)

4 c. water

1 c. steel-cut oats

Pinch of salt

1 medium apple, coarsely grated

1/2 c. milk (or however much gives you the consistency you want)

1 tsp. butter

Nutmeg, to taste

Cinnamon, to taste

Bring water to a rapid boil. Pour in oats and salt; stir. When mixture begins to thicken, turn stove to medium-low and simmer, uncovered for 30 minutes.

Add grated apple, milk, butter, nutmeg, and cinnamon. Heat about two more minutes. Remove from stove and serve. Serves 3.

If you are the type of person who likes some more protein in the morning, eat a piece of cheese on the side. I have also been known to add chopped walnuts to this recipe. And - here's a major indulgence, I have also sprinkled crumbled bacon over the top too.

With treats like this in the morning, getting back to fighting weight is a pleasure.

Eat, drink, and derive pleasure from both

French Women Part Deux

"World's Healthiest Diet?"

It was only a matter of time.  Look for French Women Don't Get Fat II: Neither Do Mediterranean Women coming soon to a bookstore near you.

Likewise, the NYT Dining section today has an article, "Instead of Eating to Diet, They're Eating to Enjoy."  Quoting Alice Waters, Rachael Ray, et. al, the article basically touches on the principles of French Women...: eating for pleasure, eating respectfully, eating mindfully.  The article was okay, but I felt like it was a weight loss article in disguise.  What interested me was a quote by Arlene Sparks, a professor at Hunter College: "But [eating less processed food] would mean people going back to cooking, and what we've lost is people's ability and knowledge of how to cook."  I want to read an article on that, on the intimidation people feel being in the kitchen at all, on the fact we've lost all our roots.  I'm often puzzled when I read cookbooks and articles where someone references a recipe "passed down from" their grandmother or mother.  Because I certainly don't have that.  And I would venture that a lot of people in America don't.  So where do we learn how to cook?

Eat, drink, and thank goodness that Food Network has brought cooking into American homes.

REVIEW (sort of): The Battle for Wine and Love by Alice Feiring

Anyone else out there read a foodie book that changed your entire perspective? What book changed your life? I don’t use this phrase lightly. There are only two books that have held this distinction for me: French Women Don’t Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano and The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan.

Perhaps choosing Guiliano’s book seems a bit trite, but don’t knock it until you’ve read it. Additionally, I understand this book isn’t for everyone. For me, though, it was a revelation. My passion for food, my openness to all its joys, started with this book three years ago.

The Omnivore’s Dilemma took what I learned in French Women to the next level. What both authors advocate is a consciousness regarding what goes into your body. What are you eating? Where is it from? Think before you put it in your mouth! Do you really want to eat that? Really? Or are you on automatic pilot? Do you even care? Whereas French Women tapped into my passions, Omnivore’s Dilemma connected to that part of me that is a lifelong learner and seeker.

Why do I bring these books up? Because I may have just discovered a third book. I use the word “may” because my future is yet untold, and it remains to be seen how much impact Alice Feiring’s The Battle for Wine and Love or How I Saved the World from Parkerization will ultimately have in my life. Having finished the book, I feel a beginning. I will – and have already started – drinking wine with a newfound consciousness, thanks to Alice. And anytime there is a gained consciousness, Life Changes are certain to follow.

Truly, if you love wine, this is a Must Read. That said, Alice’s voice and opinion aren’t for everyone. If you’ve read her blog, then you’re already familiar with her tendency to ruffle feathers, particularly among California wine growers and their corporate sponsors. Anytime there are corporate feathers ruffled*, you really have to pay attention. Clearly, Alice has touched upon something important and I’m paying attention.

In a nutshell, for us non-wine writer and non-wine critic types, Alice makes a pitch for natural wines. No, not necessarily organic because, as we all know, “organic” has been adopted by corporate America and the definition and philosophy behind it has been somewhat, if not entirely, bastardized. That bottle of Yellowtail corked in your fridge…that Mirrasou Pinot Noir I drink at TGI Friday’s to get me through the horrific experience of being there…the Hogue Fumé Blanc that I thought I liked…

Forget about ‘em. Unless you like science experiments. Alice exposes (okay, she exposed it for me, anyway) just how fake all those “flavors” are. Wood chips thrown into stainless steel barrels, vines grown in laboratories, vines “bred” and “selected” for certain flavors, additives galore to try to get good ratings from critcs…yep, your wine has most likely been subjected to all these procedures and more. Read the book – Alice will tell you about it. Maybe you won’t be shocked by this, but I was. I have actually walked into wine stores and said to the salesperson: “I like tobacco, chocolate, vanilla, oaky flavors…What have you got?” Silly me, I actually thought these were all natural. You know, like, part of the soil and shit. Nope. Chances are exceedingly high that I’m drinking a fake wine.

Now, as I wrote in an email to Ms. Feiring, I do still like all those flavors I listed above. But at what cost? Do I want that at the cost of authenticity? Giving up what is real? Is 15% alcohol content really what I’m after? The answer, for me, is a resounding no. As Alice points out, some of the natural wines can taste…um…a little “funky”…but I’ll take that. I’d rather tasty the funky earth over some fabricated approximation of the real thing.

I know, I’m on a tirade, right? Does anything I’ve just blogged seem remotely interesting to you? Then pick up the damn book and read it. I have a wine source where I can get a couple of the wines that Alice mentions in the book – I’ll try to remember to post my impressions of the natural wines**. Either way, though, I do sense a personal revolution in the way I taste, enjoy, and shop for wine, just as Michael Pollan and Mireille Guiliano did that for me in their books.

Eat, drink, and taste the earth

* Wanna get a feeling of the backlash? Here's Alice's Op-Ed article in the L.A. Times. Here is one of many responses to her article. In the response, Matthew DeBord decries natural wines stating that, among other things, that natural wines have "weird herby flavors." I ask you, fellow foodies, when did the flavor of herbs become "weird"? I think, perhaps, Mr. DeBord has forgotten that wines come from grapes...grown in the earth...kind of like herbs... Thank goodness Ms. Feiring reminded me of this!

**FYI - the wines being sent to me are all in the $40 and under range. Granted, one of the wines Alice mentioned in her book was going to cost me a cool $150...I bypassed that one for now. On the other hand, perhaps if I paid $150 for the wine I drink with my dinner I would drink it with a greater consciousness and respect. Regardless, $150 is ridiculously steep for me right now.