[...]even if she sensed pity in the feeling of her
watching friends. The pity only made her more stubborn.
Go safely. Go safely, she thought to him as he left the building and his convoy pounded through the gates.Ah, this one hit home for me. Each reading of this book and this line has brought a different meaning for me.
What a silly, empty thing it was to say to anyone, anywhere.
And then sudden pain, blinding and brilliant. Fire wrenched her head and fought against the healer, against Archer's heavy strength. Her scarf slipped off and released the shimmering prism of her hair: sunrise, poppy, copper, fuschia, flame. Red, brighter than the blood soaking the pathway.
Fire's tears were real now, and there was no helping them, for there was no time. Everything was moving too fast. She crossed the room to him, put her arms around him, clung to him, turning her face to the side, learning all at once that it was awkward to show a person all of one's love when one's nose is broken.
Living is too hard right now, he whispered into her mind. Dying is easy. Let me die.
I'm not Cansrel; at every step on this path I create myself. And maybe I'll
always find my own power horrifying, and maybe I can't ever be what I'd most
like to be.
We're not lovers anymore, she thought at him. This is the thing I needed to tell you. The closer you get to me the harder you pull, and your grip is too tight. You hurt me with it. You love me so much you've forgotten how to be my friend. I miss my friend, she thought at him fiercely. I love my friend. We're through as lovers. Do you understand?
You asked me once why I trust you. This is not the entire reason, but it's part. I believe you have shouldered a great deal of pain for the sake of other people. I believe you're as strong and as brave as anyone I've met or heard of. And wise and generous in the use of your power.
She wondered if a person could be powerful, but inside be broken into pieces, and shaking, all the time.
It always struck Fire, the physical affection between these siblings, who as often as not were at each other's throats over one thing or another. She liked the way the four of them shifted and changed shape, bumping and clanging against each other, sharpening each other's edges and then smoothing them down again, and somehow always finding the way to fit together.
And now it was the speed of Fire and Small versus the swarm descending upon her from the north and from above. Under her, Small was desperate and wonderful. He had never flown so fast.
It had been easy once, taking Archer into her bed; not so long ago it had been simple. And then, somehow, the balance had tipped between them. The marriage proposals, the lovesickness. More and more, the simplest thing was to say no.
In other news, I realized that yesterday's post was my 400th. Yowza! Just thinking about it makes me exhausted. And in six weeks from yesterday, I'll be starting culinary school. And in four weeks from tomorrow, I'll be on the SLJ Day of Dialog panel. All I need now is to get appointed to an awards committee and my life would officially be my bizarro life.
Eat, drink, and just go with the flow.
That is just too, too cool. I'm not saying I like it better, necessarily, but it's equally as awesome as the shiny American version. You get a real sense of Katsa's character and what the book might be about in the Oz version and, I have to be honest, the same can't be said for the "USian" one...even if it is prettier.
*****
In a totally unrelated thought process, I apologize for the lack of food posts lately. Most of my food blogging involves my computer at home (access to photos) and my mom-in-law is currently staying in our "computer room". But I certainly don't mind - my mother-in-law, hereby known as MC, is awesome and loves to eat and drink whatever we feel like cooking up (with the exception of cilantro, which she loooooves to hate more than anything on this earth). Nevertheless, with MC visiting, it makes blogging at home challenging, as I am spending lots of time playing board games with the fam and doing all kinds of fun things in the kitchen. So more to come on all our awesome food soon.
In the meantime, I hate to leave you empty-handed. So check out the following:
- Sausage and Smoked Mozzarella Rigatoni over at Elly Says Opa! Tell me that doesn't look incredible. Wow.
- The NY Times had a recent article on salted caramels. Read it and drool.
- While I don't necessarily agree with all their suggestions, the San Francisco Chronicle has a list of essential pantry items, and what better way to start the New Year than with a well-stocked pantry? (I was annoyed they only listed dessert ideas for dark chocolate...one of my favorite things to do with it, as suggested by Michael Chiarello, is to finely grate it over pumpkin ravioli with brown butter, sage, pine nuts and parmesan. Sound weird? Well, let me ask you this: have you tried it? No? Enough said.
Happy New Year, all! All the best in 2009!
